Yesterday I just had one of those days, the soul-destroying kind, the shattered dreams kind, the woe always me kind… to sum it up, a pretty shit one!
I hate being in such a dark space but I know that it is an inevitable part of life and we have to be down to appreciate the up times even more when they do come around. Yesterday made me wonder what is good for my soul and what is bad… made me wonder what really makes me happy? Makes my world go around? Who do I really want and need in my life and who can get the fuck out as they are destroying my soul… I own my part in that though, I mean we do have a choice as to who we allow in and out of our lives and how we allow them to impact on us, positive or negative, we ultimately decide what to take from each situation.
I know that I have so much growth inside myself, growth to become a better person, mother, friend, daughter, grand-daughter… it is finding the strength and dedication inside to make it happen. Baby steps is the only answer but most of the time I am far too impatient to handle the slow pace of baby steps! And i find myself super frustrated when what I want is there but not quite within reach just yet… like on the tip of your tongue, so annoying!
So what does make Candice happy, make my world spin and keep going… kids are a big one, my awesome family, the friends that are there for me. The only material thing that spins my world is my books, I have gotten lost in books again and I am loving it :). I guess that there are a million other little things that make my world go around but that will be all for this post.