I have lost many along the way and watched many close to me suffer in silence and come out on the other side.
These people who fight battles daily are my inspiration to get up in the morning and look for things to be happy about instead of things to complain about. Yes I have problems. Yes I can find many things to complain about. But at the end of the day I have my health. I have three perfectly heathy boys who see the doctor *maybe* once a year. I have a roof over my head. Food in my tummy. A car. A job. Friends. Family. Love.
How often do you reflect on the positive?
Did you know that the brain doesn’t always pick up the negative? For example, when you say to a kid, ‘Don’t spill that juice’, all the brain registers is spill and so ultimately the child will end up spilling as the brain is so focused on the word.
I am trying to be conscious of how I talk to myself. Yes to the world I may ooze with positiveness and yes the battles that I have overcome seem impossible to some. But at the end of the day it is what I feed myself internally that really counts, and I can tell you now that what goes on internally is not very nice and I need to work on that. I need to stop beating myself up for things that I cannot change. I need to be kinder to the inner me. I need to soul search for what Candice really wants. I know that it is not just me anymore but without my internal happiness I cannot carry on with life and that ultimately means that my boys would be left with no mother and no father… not what I want for them, if I can help it.
The process needs to happen by me consciously recording all the thoughts that I feed my internal self. Find new words and then actively put them into practice… I will let you know how this goes!