… It is ok to have nothing really to blog about.
Our day started by waking up at 9am and staying cuddled in bed together until 10:30am, perfect for a chilly Saturday morning. Then we tidied up around the house a bit and went to Wimpy, that’s about it really. Nothing too special and nothing very eventful. A day spent with my cousin and her kids and for that the kids will remember the simple, uneventful day that we had.
I have had a draining day with my own emotions and thought I’d never feel this much pain again for a while to come. One simple message and my rollercoaster ride for the day began. Right now all I want is to crawl into my bed and read. Or cry. I need to cry. I need to release what I’m feeling right now. I know that it is good for my kids to see my emotion but I feel that when I can’t explain it in relation to them, then it needs to be hidden. I feel like my feelings are a little unjustified . I feel like I’m being the worlds biggest idiot. I feel confused. Hurt. Angry. Shocked. Terrified. Hurt. Oh wait I said that already but I truly am hurt.
I think that I was blind about the situation as a whole. Led to believe things that were not true. And yet at the same time I cannot believe that this was the case. Denial perhaps? Whatever it is I need to snap out of it. And fast. I need to find the happy place. Escape the cause of hurt.
So much for having nothing to say.