I was one of ‘those’ kids. The one’s that hated school. I think it was worse in high school but it definitely started out in junior primary. I was a fast developer and so while all my friends were in awe over their first armpit hair, I had already been shaving for two years. While they were excited to be shopping for training bra’s, I had been wearing them forever. This left me feeling awkward and exceptionally out of place most of the time. Oh, and let me mention here, that I was always as tall as, if not taller, than the teachers – just another thing to add to my already awkward state. This is a photo of a photo taken with a phone, so sorry about the quality – but it sure depicts my height.
I am not one to blame… and in the same sentence I will say that I was not the nicest person growing up either. I was a down out right rude and nasty person, not all the time but there were times. I am not proud of it, but it is my past and I will make amends for it along the way. I think that a lot of my nasty behaviour was to try and ‘fit in’ – oh how glad I am to be past that. I was so desperate to feel like I fitted in, I wished that my physique were different, I wished I could just be like everyone else. Now I am happy to stand out, be unique and be the best version of me that God created.
When I was in Junior Primary our motto was, ‘We Learn, We Grow’. I never realised or took much notice of it to be honest, it was just there, a part of the badge and yet it embedded into the back of my mind and is something that has really stood out for me in the past couple of years. I have always realised that without learning there is no growth and boy am I on a learning journey at the moment… I am hoping that this will be followed by the immense growth that I am after.
I have learnt so much about myself in this year, more than I have in a very long time. I have learnt where my passion lies. I have learnt what blind faith is. I have learnt how truly awesome it is to have a big sister. I have learnt what true friendship is. I have learnt what it means to hurt. I have learnt how it feels to be on the receiving end of nasty. I have learnt that we are all a lot stronger than we give ourselves credit for. I have learnt to really be grateful for my family and the close bond that we share. I have learnt, most of all, never, EVER, to take ANYTHING for granted.
With the learning comes change. I embrace and welcome change. Some change is harder than other change, granted. I am ready and open for the next chapter in my life and it feels AWESOME!!!
Hello creativity. That is all I will say for now.