So many things in my life have been ‘different than expected’ – kind of hard to pick just one. For me, once I established myself in the real world, outside of a sheltered school environment, that is when I truly realised just how different things can be compared to what I imagined.
I knew that when I finished matric I would travel the world. I had a burning desire to do this for as long as I can remember. I longed to explore the world outside of Cape Town, where I was born and Johannesburg, where I live. I used to Au Pair two girls when I was in school and they immigrated to Spain… perfect – that could be destination number one. I have family in Paris – see, the plan was coming together. I think I spent a lot of time in my own little world planning all the exotic destinations I would visit, the extreme activities I would undertake. It was going to be AWESOME.
BUT… God had different plans for me, clearly. I remain in Johannesburg, untraveled. The blessing comes in the form of three gorgeous boys that I would not change for the world. Or to travel the world. Dylan was born two months before my 21st Birthday and a mere 19 months later I was blessed with the birth of Jason and Grant. Motherhood is its own journey, one that to me is far more fulfilling than travelling anywhere. I get to be a kid again. I get to see the world through their eyes, really appreciate the beauty that surrounds us. And I would like to believe that we will get to travel together as a unit, Mom and her Three Boys – nice ring to it, no?
I thank God for blessing me with my boys, He saved my life by doing this. I have, at times, caught myself wondering into the world that I had envisioned… I won’t go into too much detail, but I can assure you that I would no longer be on earth, I was caught up in a no good life on a one way mission to destroy myself and create a lot of hurt for my family and friends in the process. Not a great place to be… that is my past though and I don’t live there anymore. My boys have truly taught me, through God, what it is to love. What it is to live. What it is to have fun. Thank you God for blessing me and saving my life.
Another thing that was totally different than expected was the actual birth experience. I had natural with Dylan and c-section with Jason and Grant. I was under the impression that natural entailed hours of pushing and hours of agony. So not true. Although I had a long labour (07:30 – 20:10), I gave two giant pushes and out came Dylan. My reaction to him was a whole lot different than I expected. I cried and cried and cried some more – that was weird for me. The reason that I cried was because at that moment, the moment that they placed my son on my chest, I knew what love was, and I knew that I had never felt it ever before in my life. The fact that the nurse sang Happy Birthday to Dylan didn’t help much either, it totally sent me over the edge as I realised that this gorgeous little boy in my arms would be mine forever. Ok, I didn’t think he was too gorgeous at first – he was still covered in vermix, had a cone-shaped head and the longest feet I had ever seen, but you know what I mean.
Jason and Grant, being c-section babies, was a very different experience and a totally horrible one at that. I felt sick, they never gave me enough pain medication or anesthetized me properly so I could feel EVERYTHING and let me tell you that it is not pleasant at all, it is sore beyond any pain I have ever felt, I literally lost all my colour and they had a wet cloth on my head and a bucket on stand-by. Dr Cameron’s assistant was a wonderful lady named Heather. She requested that Jason and Grant be placed on my chest as soon as possible, which they did and I got instant colour, I remember her catching my eye, smiling and saying, ‘that’s the best medicine’ – she was so right, I forgot all about the pain and the nausea and I fell in love all over again.
Apparently I could blog forever on this topic, what a great one at that, but I shall stop now. Thanks for reading.
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