#Awesome Day #20: Heartbreak

I know that this is a strange awesome to have but I was pondering this the other day, while chatting to a friend, and I believe that while we are going through heartbreak it is no fun at all, but we always come out the other side much stronger than we ever thought possible. I am referring specifically to hearts broken in love.

Once upon a time (so cliche, I know) I met the most amazing man. He truly was everything I dreamed and more. I created our future in my mind and in my heart and it was amazing. It was magical. I got shivers every time I went to that place. Safely in his arms. Waking up as his wife – oh the life we were set to live, together forever. He captured my heart in so many ways and I knew that soon we would have the happily ever after that I always dreamed of. I was willing to move heaven and earth to make it happen, I was so sure that he was the one. And I believed (or convinced myself) that he felt it too.

That was until my world, as I knew it, came crashing down into a million pieces. Not only was my heart broken, it was removed out my chest, cut into a million pieces and then trampled on. Repeatedly. Dreams shattered in an instant. I don’t think I had ever experienced a pain that went quite so deep before. A pain that no matter what, I could not lighten. A pain that ran so deep within I thought I was going to die. In fact, I wanted nothing more than to die at that point in my life. I wanted to crawl  up into a hole and never come out. I cried, cried and cried some more. I never knew that a person could cry so much.

Eventually I got over the heartache and began to heal and I have definitely come out stronger on the other side. I also believe that each heartache I have experienced has taught me more of what I don’t want and made me a whole lot stronger within me. I know more of my worth. I know never to repeat the things I believe played a part in the ultimate ending and heartache. I have also learned never to underestimate the amount of tears that can be shed by a single person. I realise that each heartache experienced is unique, each hurts in a different way. While I am long past the heartache that was, sometimes I like to reflect back. In the past all I saw was the hurt but now I see the magic that was, without wanting it still and I can appreciate what we shared while we did, even though it turned out a whole lot different that I thought it would.

And that makes it awesome – not then, but now.

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6 Comments Add yours

  1. Patricia says:

    So sorry … for then… good for you….for now. My daughter has just gone through the same thing, now, she ( and her 2 young daughters) are beginning to heal….JUST beginning! Be well!

    1. settoncrew says:

      I hope that her healing is fast.

  2. Paula Kaye says:

    Oh this was painful to read. I think that I suffered that same kind of heartache once, but unfortunately we got back together, only to spend another 10 years together and eventually divorced. I wish I could have accepted the first heartache and moved on, as you did! This was a beautifully written piece

    http://paulasplace-paula.blogspot.com/

  3. settoncrew says:

    Thanks Paula. We each have a journey to walk that differs, while it might seem great to not have had those 10 years extra, I believe there must be a reason behind it.

  4. This is so honest and heartfelt, I love it and you’re right.. how we come out on the otherside of Heartbreak is AWESOME.. thanks for sharing

    x Natalie

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