So the other day I shared an update with a friend and her reply was, ‘Wow, you’re amazing! Love your faith and obedience. You don’t jump at anything, you pray and ask the Lord first! Just wonderful my friend!! Just wonderful!’
I never really saw it like that and it was refreshing to see myself through her eyes. This comes from a very dear friend. One that I have known long before I came to walk with the Lord. A friend that prayed for me to know the Lord and screamed for joy when the day came. She never spoke to me about the Lord but her actions and way of living made me want what she had.
I need to learn to be softer on myself – this might go hand in hand with ‘I like being me’. Because what I shared with her made me feel like I was letting people down and yet she observed faith and obedience. It made me feel like I was letting God down in some way and yet she noted I put God first by asking Him and trusting in His answers.
My main aim for this year is to build a better relationship with my boys. I also want to lead them closer to the Lord, if they are willing. I don’t want to force anything onto them but I do want to guide them closer. I want them to seek first the Kingdom in every aspect of their lives. I want us to draw closer to God as a family. I want us to work together. In putting God first I know that this will happen… but it definitely takes work from our part. To me, loving God is so easy. But I never want to be complacent. I want the fire to burn so deep in my soul. I want a constant hunger for Him. And you know, I wouldn’t mind the same for the boys. If they are willing.
You see I was ‘pushed’ into certain things when I was younger and that made me rebel. The more they pushed, the deeper into rebellion I went. So I don’t want to force anything onto the boys but I do want to teach them about what I believe and why. The why is so important to me. I want them to ask questions and gain an understanding of why I have chosen the path I walk. Why He is my number one. Why I am so passionately in love with the Lord. Because understanding the why made the how, and the walk, that much easier for me.