You know, I never actually realised how much I missed blogging until I blogged last week and now it seems to be all that’s on my mind – so typical!
Over here you can read what depression means to me. Last year I came across Carol McLeod – thanks to my sister who posted a link to her blog – and while I was there I noticed her series, ’21 Days to Beat Depression’. On 1 August 3013 I decided I had nothing to lose and took on the 21 day journey. I am happy to report that I have been depression free ever since. If you’re a believer and suffering from depression I would highly recommend it – it is Bible based and easy to apply.
Why am I telling you this? Well, the next part will make more sense then. While I have been set free from depression I am still human and I still have bad days – most of my bad days aren’t as dark as they used to be but they are still there at times and I am learning how to manage them.
On 11 June 2014 I had one of said bad days. Unfortunately it was a really bad one and I slipped into a massive dark pit. I was fighting in the flesh not to cut and reaching out to God with all the strength I had, which wasn’t much. ‘I can’t do this on my own Father’ ‘Help me please’. I was desperate and vulnerable. Then with the little strength that I had I managed to pick up my Bible instead of the blade and this is what I read:
“You are children of the Lord your God. Do not cut yourselves…”
If ever there was a doubt in my mind about this Mighty, Powerful, Personal God that I serve that about cleared it all up! He is alive. He is amazing. He leaves me breathless, speechless and in absolute awe!
I got stuck on that sentence for a while, just reading it over and over and over. I couldn’t believe my eyes, and yet I could. In my deepest, darkest hour He was there and He showed me in plain black and white that very fact. I have memorised that verse and carry it with me all the time now. When things are hard I remind myself how much He cares. How much He loves me. How He hears every single cry. At the end of it all, all He wants is a close, personal and intimate relationship with each one of His children.
Hope the above is encouraging… Because I sure am left feeling so uplifted by my glorious God <3